Durrina the bard's awful custard song.

While sitting for her Bardic test, our noble bard failed to impress the bards in the dive where they had her perform. Her story, about vampires and love lost, while true, was seen as too overblown by the judges.

A halfling, in the audience, shouted that she should compose a song on the spot and show them her skill as a performer was not limited to Gothic romance.

She asked what she should sing about in the bar, where bawdy tunes and raucous tales rang out through the night, and asked the audience for a topic.

"Custards!" screamed the halfling, and our bard began to play a little jig, that by the end of the song had all straining to hear the inevitable bad pun that would send then, groaning, to the floor, and earn our bard her performer's stripes, if not for perfect composition, then for being entertaining to drunk demihumans in a common dive bar:

Here was the song which earned her the title journeyman, made up on the spot at the behest of a halfling who'd turn out to be "Doro the Whistler" one of the greatest bards of all time:

In the halfling village of Shire-On-Bustard
lived two great pastry chefs, who sold cakes soft like custard

So vicious was their fight, in their hole-like little shops,
that the bitching, and whining and baking never stopped.

The fairer sexed of the two to the other did cry,
" young man, unlike custard, your cake is quite dry,"

The male replied often, for everyone to hear,
"My cake is the moister, stick that in your ear!"

So the battle ranged on, for over a year,
until I, a poor bard, happened to be near,

"My cake is the moistest, like custard," one said.
The other, "mine is softer, come, bard, be better fed"

I sampled both cakes, and like custard both were,
but deep inside myself, a question did stir...

I noticed the male of the two wore a mask even when home,
I ripped off the mask and discovered he was a gnome!!

The other hemmed and hawed, and was far too bold!
A mask she wore too! She was a kobold!

When I revealed this, the village in anger did shout,
they took the false halflings, and tossed them right out.

I was saddened indeed, by the end of the night...

Nothing's more tragic than two halfling apparents in a custardy fight.