Things New Wiccans can do for May Eve, without any training.

In Wicca, May Eve traditionally runs from sunset on the last day of April until sunset on the first day of May. Unlike the solstices and equinoxes, which are astronomical events, May Eve is dated based on the secular calendar, although some people have decided to replace their May Eve celebration with a lunar holiday, celebrating on the full moon closest to May Eve. I actually dislike this practice, because our Roman-influenced secular calendar was always established with the idea that the first day of the month was special, whether a Roman market day, a Catholic Mass day or even a Bank holiday.
However May Eve is recognized in the Wiccan liturgical calender you use, whether it is dated traditionally or placed elsewhere in the month, whether you call it by a Germanic, Celtic, or Anglo-Saxon name, it still represents the center (cusp) of the holy year, as well as representing a date of maximum fecundity, a day upon which one begins great works, with the hope that they will grow full with time and blossom into something extraordinary.
So, what can an untrained or new Wiccan do to celebrate this season?

1. If you and your significant other are contemplating having kids, or more kids, May Eve is the traditional "first day" to start trying. Assuming you have a place available to you that is private and unspoiled, you may want to try consummating your relationship in the wild, surrounding yourself with the signs of nature and the start of growth as you start that great work.

2. Not all great works are about having a kid. Do you have a project or goal that needs starting? May Eve is a traditional time to start long-term projects that aren't kids, too. Try spending an hour meditating and/or brainstorming about the things you want to accomplish before the new year, then ask the gods for help before you begin. If the project requires more work than can be started in the day, try doing something that REPRESENTS the project. For example, if you are going to start a sculpture, or a garden, or applying to colleges, and you can't start those on May Eve, try praying for assistance in starting it, and doing a token act- drawing a picture of your sculpture, walking through where your garden will be, taking a real or virtual college tour.

3. Celebrate the earth by making and consuming the locally fresh foods that are in season now. Foods in season taste better, don't have to travel as far and often have nutrients your body craves during this time of year. You can use this chart to find out what is available near you.

4. Make a honey, seed or apple cake, representing the use of the last of your stores in the hopes that things will continue to replenish. If you absolutely cannot do this from your own recipe or from scratch, try using a high-end mix, I personally love this one, and we're up to 3 holidays we'll make it for.

5. Share your food with the gods. When you have your feast, take a small amount of the food and place it somewhere outside, preferably away from your house. If you have an outdoor altar, or a small special space (I use the crook of a tree,) leave the food on a fine plate for the gods to use as they will...even if it's just to feed the squirrels!

6. Spend time in prayer, meditation, or just go for a hike in the forest- or do all three. Listen to the world around you, look how the world has changed, how it is changing because of the season. Find three good things about the earth and focus on them.

7. Be a steward to the earth- clean up the winterfall, the bits of trees and bush that snap off in the winter, and any trash that blows into your yard, local parks and wild areas. Declare war on blowing plastic bags, climbing trees or using tools to remove them from the environment. Make it YOUR problem, not someone elses'.

8. Honor your ancestors. Not just your literal ancestors, but all of those who have come before. While it is a tradition to send flowers anonymously on May Eve, some people take that the wrong way, so instead of sending flowers to your local grump, instead, visit your local old cemetery and find out the rules about flowers and the like. Visit graves that no one cares about anymore, and fill the urns with appropriate flowers, trim the grass that grows up against the stones (often even good cemetaries don't do hand trimming against old stones) and, following the cemetery's suggestions and rules for such things, clean and service the stones. This website has some good examples of ways to clean and maintain stones. I especially like to bring perennial, potted plants to place in empty urns in areas no longer actively visited by relatives. Remember, however, that cemeteries have the right to have rules about these things, so find those out FIRST. For example, you may be required to remove the plants after frost. I, personally, find caring for the graves of forgotten children to be particularly fulfilling, because when those parents paid for the stones (often huge amounts of money) they expected the people of the future to care for them and someone good should, even if the parents' churches no longer bother.

9. Be a sneaky earth helper. Find out what local endangered native plants are available in nurseries, and plant them in forgotten public areas. Also, if you have a stand of a local endangered plant in a public area, purchase permanent markers, and mark the area. This will often prevent people from randomly picking them from idiocy, ignorance or because of development. Nearly every year, for example, Yahoo!Answers will have questions from people who've just picked trilliums, which can take 3 years or more to recover from picking! asking "what flower is this" despite the fact that even common trillium are often protected under state law. An example of an appropriate sign might have an image of the protected plant, its name, and, for example: "This plant is a protected species, removal of this plant is subject to a fine not to exceed XXX or jailtime under state law XXX.XX" If the plant cannot be picked without killing the plant, it's often good to add that. 'Picking Trillium, unlike other wild flowers, often results in the death of the entire plant-please look, but don't touch.' Similarly, be vicious towards your local evil invasives, like Japanese Knotweed, following EPA recommended techniques to manage them, even if it involves sneaking over fences or otherwise bending the law. Plant KNOWLEDGE is very important here. If, for example, you see highway maintenance spraying down large hedges, don't assume "the man" is evil, but keep aware of what's going on. Not all plants are equal, if you have a non-native plant that is killing indigenous useful plants, often you need to be drastic. Research ways that are less drastic than what your local government is doing, or maybe more effective.

Each of the techniques above can help you celebrate the holiday even if you are alone, or don't know exactly what you're 'supposed' to do.

I'm not Pansexual, and I don't say I am.

I lost an online friend a few months ago not because we disagreed about anything real, but because I have adamantly said that I was not Pansexual, I was a plain old bisexual. After a while, she started to understand my POV, and wrote me a lovely email, but (with her permission) I'd like to talk about what, precisely, that means.

Sir Frederic Bartlett, and Jean Piaget both discussed the concept of the schema, essentially sets our minds create that help us understand our world. To cut to the chase, this is a case of two schemata, which we'll call Set F and Set N.

Most of us who are adults possess these two sets, which are "things we theoretically could have sex with" (The Fuckable Set) and "things we would not have sex with, ever." (The Non-Fuckable Set)
Let's take, for example, the Set F and Set N of a healthy, heterosexual male:
Set F= [Women]
Set N=[Men, Children, Farm animals, Women who are filthy, etc.]
Most of us can wrap our heads around this type of sexual attraction schema, even if we don't share it. We can actually fill Set N up for almost anyone, because even if your attraction is to women, there are women who you will not find sexually attractive, maybe for good reason, maybe for bad reasons... For example, I generally like women, and there is a current commercial with a woman that I think looks like a bag of antlers, and like she'd rattle if you had sex with her...and if you go to any youtube posting of it, you'll find people saying she's gorgeous. I think she looks like an insectoid with a grossly distended head and pointy cheekbones that would stab you if you kissed her ear, but enough about that... clearly, this woman is in F for a lot of people, but she's in N for me.
In general, my set of Ns and Fs look like this, and since I'm not republican, I'll add that they have to be human.:
F=[Human Men, Human Women]
N=[Not human things, immature human things, things that look like immature human things.]

My (since reconciled) friend the pan-sexual had a problem with me because I tend to see androgyny and associate it with immature human things.
In other words, if you lack secondary sexual characteristics, my brain says you are pre-pubescent, and if I had a penis, it would go all flaccid.

That's not to say that I don't get attracted to transgendered people, as long as they have enough secondary sexual characteristics (associated with any gender, not necessarily their gender at birth) for my brain to see them as ADULTS.
For example, I don't know what gender this is supposed to be, but it's clearly supposed to look like a child of some gender or another, and it needs a sammich:
Pan-sexuality includes the ability to be attracted to people of all, any, or no discernible gender. I love some people who are Pan-Sexual, but I need to see something, of some gender, to indicate it is an adult, and healthy enough for sexual activity, before I can be stimulated by it.

It doesn't mean I don't like people who are androgynous, it just means they don't turn me on, no more so than a heterosexual guy gets turned on by a sexy man.

It's just not the way my brain works.

...And for the love of god, get those bags of antlers some sammiches.

Why are republicans obsessed with sex with animals?

Rick Santorum warned that allowing sexual contact between consenting adults to be private would lead to "Man-on-Dog" action, and Pat Robertson's sex with ducks comment led to one of my favorite videos (sorry to disappoint, republicans, but no sex with ducks occurs in that video) and now Carl Paladino's Graphic Girl-on-Horse Sex emails have got me wondering, again, WHAT THE HELL IS IT WITH REPUBLICANS AND BESTIALITY?

My mind doesn't even go there. I can't even imagine why people's minds would go there, and yet, time and time again, you poke a republican and something about sex with animals comes out.

It's like, it's like pee when you're tickling a toddler. They seem to be holding it in, and then when you tickle them they can't hold it in anymore.

Apparently, republicans hold in a stream of sex with animals like toddlers hold in pee.